How to Find Gods with Your Smartphone
Green haze in the trees? Already?
I’m easily influenced, that’s a fact. I read Embassytown and I immediately start sketching in my head a story about unlikely weapons from alien aliens. I watch Martha Marcy May Marlene and I start thinking about what I’ve been thinking about for a while; a star cult and a distributed telescope finding a shadow beyond Oort. I catch a few snippets dense prose and I return to teenagers having regular riots and hiding in tunnels when the armoured police breaks in.
Why do I even want to write? Because it’s fun? No. Not at all. Because almost all other stories annoy me? Sure. Yeah. Because it’s a profession which requires little in the way of temporally sensitive skills? Absolutely. To make a great book that reads in a few hours you can take as much time as you want.
But I do not write. That’s the whole problem.
Or rather, it’s the result of the problem; that I can’t break that oh-God-this-is-horrible-what-the-fuck-am-I-doing limiter.
Yesterday, high on not failing the latest assignment on my uni course, and finding a book I long waited for and another I immediately wanted to read, I made that feeble promise-to-self that I would do something about it. I said to myself that I would start writing a page a day, no matter what. No matter inspiration, no matter good, no matter bad. The math is simple: a page a day is 365 pages in a year.
I decided to sacrifice the story I’ve so far had the least emotional investment in: the one about a woman in a “not too distant future” joining a star cult which wants to find the gods in the shadow, while she just want to go away in general.
I will probably end up caring about it anyways. I’m silly like that.